


With Words Unspoken

by jacaranda_bloom



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 60/70's AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, California, Explicit Sexual Content, Fate, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Harry is 47, Louis has grandchildren, Louis has grown up children, Louis is 49, M/M, Mentions of past divorce (Louis/OFC), Rimming, Set in 1979, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Top Harry, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-06-23 19:25:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19707892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacaranda_bloom/pseuds/jacaranda_bloom
Summary: At forty-nine, Louis hadn’t envisioned being at a crossroads in his life; kids, grandkids, an ex-wife, and completely at a loss as to what direction his future will take. When he finds himself drawn back to a cabin in the Californian wilderness that’d he’d visited fifteen years earlier, an acquaintance from his past triggers an awakening deep inside and reveals a new path that he could never have imagined.OR The one where Louis is lost, Harry is an excellent tour guide, and age is no barrier to finding the love of your life.





	1. Into The Wilderness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mixedfandomfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixedfandomfics/gifts).



> Thank you for your wonderful prompt "60/70s AU Louis goes hiking and stumbles on a hippie commune and is kind of weirded out but sees Harry and is intrigued". I can't say I stuck to it entirely, but the elements are certainly there. I've never written a for an exchange before so writing for someone was a new experience - I really hope you like what I came up with. xx
> 
>   
> To my beautiful, patient, brilliant, encouraging cheerleaders/beta’s [ Rebecca ](https://runaway-train-works.tumblr.com/), [ Nicola ](https://missytearex.tumblr.com/) and [ Emma ](https://justsomelarryfics.tumblr.com/) \- you’re all amazing and I love you very much.
> 
> The commissioned cover artwork for this fic was created by the immensely talented Tanya (aka wilywolf). Please go and show them some love on [ Tumblr ](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/) and [ Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/wilywolf92/).
> 
> Title is from the song Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, released by The Shiralees, 1960.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome - they make me so happy and I appreciate them greatly.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [ jacaranda-bloom ](https://jacaranda-bloom.tumblr.com/) and if you’d like to reblog my [ Tumblr fic post ](https://jacaranda-bloom.tumblr.com/post/186868807353/with-words-unspoken-by-jacaranda-bloom) that would be lovely!
> 
> Enjoy!!

It’s hot. Really fucking hot. At this point Louis’ aviators are permanently wedged on the tip of his nose, pinching and making it even harder for him to breathe. He’d abandoned continually pushing them back up after they’d slid down for the millionth time. Traitorous bastards. His bandana is doing a valiant job of trying to keep the hair out of his eyes, but it’s a fool's errand with the dry wind whipping at the loose strands relentlessly.

He’s been walking for nearly six hours since the sun was nothing but a glow on the horizon, and he still isn’t at his destination. He’s got plenty of food and enough water for another day, but he’d very much like to replenish his water reserves before they deplete entirely.

When he had walked this trail fifteen years ago he was much younger, much fitter, and much surer in his footsteps as well as his mindset. Thirty-four-year-old him thought he had his shit worked out. He had a great career, a stable marriage, two brilliant kids, an enviably nice house, and the future seemed bright. Forty-nine-year-old him, on the other hand, hasn’t got a fucking clue. 

This time he’s come to clear his head, to find his fire, to reclaim his mojo, and to claw his way back, from his divorce, from everything really.

He’s making his way to a cabin he’d marked on his map as the first night’s camp. It’s at the bottom of the Tomboro Range, in a clearing with a stream running through for fresh water. He remembers it having decent shelter and a makeshift fire pit, perfect for hanging a pot for tea and cooking up some grub. He’s prepared for sleeping rough under the stars if he has to, but he really hopes he won’t need to resort to that.

Louis comes to a fork where his path joins another, a well worn one, by the looks of it. He doesn’t recall seeing many fellow hikers last time but perhaps this trail has become more popular since his previous trek. No matter. The company of strangers might do him some good. Get his mind off things for a bit.

Based on his calculations, he should only be another hour or so away from the cabin. His body is telling him he needs to rest, but he’ll wait until he makes camp. His legs are tiring and his back is grumbling, a slipped disc from his athletic youth pressing on some nerves and sending pains down his leg, but not enough to make him stop.

The California heat is dry, but that doesn’t prevent the sweat from trickling down between his shoulder blades and pooling at the base of his spine, soaking through the tops of his khaki shorts. The sound of rustling leaves off the track catches his attention as a small bird flies into the air, a large worm hanging from its beak.

His feet pound the dirt, boots dusty and worn as he reaches a crest. He slows to take in the vista from his raised vantage point. Heavy scrub and some tall trees following the twists and turns of the long-since dried up river bed. The water is there, buried, but the forest above reveals the secret life force hidden just under the surface.

Louis chuckles to himself at the metaphor for his own life. He always thought he was an open book, following a visible and expected path; school, college, marriage, career, kids. Just like his parents had done, just like the friends in his close circle. For so long, it had been easy, everything following the unwritten plan, until suddenly, nothing made sense anymore, the plan and his life, cast into the winds of change.

He’d met Mandy thirty years ago in the summer of forty-nine at the local community center. He was nineteen, she had just turned eighteen. He was into sports and she was helping her mom out with a fundraiser for the primary school. They’d married in the spring, both so young and full of love and hopes for the future. Their daughter, Elizabeth, had been born the following year, Paul another year after that. It seems like a lifetime ago, and Louis muses that it kind of is. Thirty years.  _ Fuck _ . Elizabeth, or Betsy as she was quickly nicknamed, and Paul have their own adult lives now, children and homes, and futures planned out. And what does Louis have? A failed marriage, a career he no longer understands, a bachelor pad in downtown San Francisco, and so many questions swirling in his head about who he is and what lies ahead that he’s hiking into the wilderness to try and find some answers. Or maybe he’s not ready for answers yet. Maybe he first needs to work out what the question is.

He scouts the landscape and spies the cabin far off in the distance. It’s probably only another hours’ walk, at most, but it seems far away. He heads down the hill, stepping carefully on the dirt and pebbles as they shift beneath his boots, groaning internally at the identification of yet another life metaphor.

Louis’ career had started slowly, but blossomed quickly once he’d moved into government, fast-tracking up the ranks ahead of those still stuck in the past; his particular brand of legal analysis lending itself to the transforming political landscape as America barrelled on through change after change.

Some of those changes impacted his life in small ways, just new projects and another rung up the ladder. But when he began working for Abe, everything turned on its head. Abe was a visionary, fighting for homosexual rights and for those who had no legal voice. He sought Louis out for his team due to his knowledge of the legislative labyrinth and his success in winning the cases others deemed as unwinnable.

Every day was a new challenge, with the passing of new laws and the relaxing of others, they were no longer treading in the footsteps of those that had come before, but forging new paths and standing up to the establishment.

His workload escalated and the firm's profile in the homosexual community became a beacon of hope for many. The attention it attracted was complicated but Louis drew great satisfaction from the sense he was doing something important, something worthwhile.

Mandy and her parents, her father in particular, as well as most of their friends, were less enthusiastic. Things really just escalated from there.

While Louis may have grown up in a small town just outside of San Francisco, with small-town sensibilities and small-town prejudices, he wasn’t blind to the world around him. He’d never been one to judge others and when he was brought into this environment, this community and their struggles, it had been a fight he always knew he would suit up for.

Mandy hadn’t wanted him to take the position, fearful of the attention it would draw to them, the snide looks and whispers from their friends, the associated bigotry and harsh words.

Louis had foolishly thought their close friends and family would understand, or at least be courteous enough to keep their fucking opinions to themselves. He was wrong.

It put an immense strain on their marriage and Louis watched in disbelief as Mandy’s support wavered and then disappeared completely. It was as though a switch flipped in her head and one day she was teetering on the edge and the next she had moved to side with them. Against Louis. Twenty-five years down the drain.

He wasn’t blameless in the demise of his marriage, of course. He had opportunities to turn it around. He could’ve left the position, left the firm and everything they were fighting for, but he didn’t. It was worth it, he  _ still _ believes it was worth it, even with everything he’s sacrificed.

The open expanse of low brush starts to blend as he gets closer to the river bed, taller trees and thicker scrub encroaching on the pathway, and the canopy providing a welcome respite from the harsh sun, the wind thwarted by the valley’s protective walls. It’s just a final push now, up the last hill and then he can rest.

At forty-nine he’s aging well. He keeps himself fit with regular squash games and morning jogs along the bay. There are permanent wrinkles forming beside his eyes from years of crinkled smiles, but he thinks that’s a good thing, to have his happiness etched on his face for all the world to see. The salt-and-pepper coloring at his temples is blending further with his natural brown and his hairline is marching a slow but worryingly steady path up over his crown. His beard is now almost bereft of the amber and golden hues it once had, but he keeps himself clean-shaven most of the time. Not that he really cares about any of it, age waits for no one, after all, he’s just going to do it as gracefully as he can.

The cabin is not too different from how he remembers it. Slightly more beaten down by the passage of time, but still standing, welcoming. He drops his pack on the porch and goes inside. It’s dusty and tired, not unlike himself, but appears to have been used recently. It’s too far away from roads and other towns to be frequented by vagrants or kids, which is a blessing. He’d hoped to still find it in one piece and is relieved that it is.

He wanders around the single room, reading the notes people have carved or written onto the wooden walls. Years of history from other hikers leaving their marks. He finds his own from fifteen years ago, faded and partially obscured by another message that reads ‘Alan was here June 1978’ in bold black texta. It feels like it was yesterday, but also a lifetime ago, as though he’s stumbled onto some ancient wall art from a civilization long since gone. Before Abe and the firm, before the divorce, when his life made sense. Or did it? Did it ever really make sense? That’s one of the questions he hopes to find an answer to, out here, in the wilderness, retracing his steps so he might gain some insight into where this tangent began.

He traces his fingers over his rough scratching. ‘Tonight with words unspoken - Louis 1965’. It’s a line from the song ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow’ which had been released five years before he made his mark in this little cabin, but the lyrics were so pure, and relevant, and had resonated with him so completely, that they seemed the only appropriate thing to leave behind from that night. Words when there had been no need for words.

He takes a steadying breath and straightens his shoulders, eyes flittering across the wood to where he knows the answering line of the song is inscribed. His gaze fixes on the words and his feet carry him over without instruction. He stares at them, time having weathered them, but they stand out with a permanency that belies the years that have passed. ‘You said that I’m the only one - Harry 1965’. He reaches out and touches the word. “ _ Harry _ ,” he whispers into the emptiness of the cabin, the word reverberating in his brain. Memories of the night flood back into his consciousness, clearer than a dream, vivid and laced with the emotions he felt, the conversation, the depth, the underlying meanings.

They’d talked until the sun had risen and spilled light into the valley, the fire keeping them warm as they had explored every topic with an ease that Louis had rarely experienced. Strangers. A chance meeting along the trail. But he’d felt a connection to Harry, his slow meandering way of speaking enveloping him with a safety and calmness that was foreign in his world. 

He’d felt drawn to him, pulled in, under, able to open up more than he had with anyone else, but even then, it was a mere graze, a brush, skirting the edges of the turmoil inside his head. Never putting words to what was buried deep inside. Harry had understood him, read his emotions and nervousness, and had just let him be without judgement or question. There was a silent understanding between them, the words they weren’t speaking so much louder than those they were giving a voice to. 

On the surface, it had all been innocent enough, but for Louis, it had been like a fire had ignited in his veins at just the mere possibility of allowing himself to feel it. To let it be real. When they said their goodbyes their embrace had conveyed something deeper. So much emotion passing between them with a simple touch. He had sunk into it, breathed him in, hung on for as long as he could allow himself. 

He heads back outside and makes a fire, just enough to boil his tea and heat some food. The quiet of the evening descends and he lets himself become immersed in his memories, his thoughts, his pain. He wonders what became of Harry. Did he stay at the commune just over the ridge? Did he find what he was looking for, the freedom to be himself, to create the future he had so desperately wanted? Is he safe? Did he find love and purpose out here in the wilds of California?

Louis falls asleep with a myriad of images swirling through his head; of his children, his grandchildren, of the life he’s left behind, of Harry.

~~~~

Louis wakes slowly with the unfamiliar feeling of hard wood beneath his tired bones, the muscles in his back protesting angrily. He stretches out and sits up as the cabin comes into focus, dust particles hanging in the air on the beams of light piercing through the windows and under the door. Yawning, he lifts his hands and pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes. A noise startles him from outside, the sound of metal on metal clanking and interrupting the quiet of the morning.

He’s not particularly concerned, perhaps it’s just another traveler and the company might be nice. Louis unzips his sleeping bag and gets to his feet, slipping on his boots. 

He opens the door and sees a man crouched down in front of the fire, his back to Louis, stirring the pot he’d left there last night over the embers. The fire is crackling now, and there are billows of smoke coming from the pit. He walks to the edge of the verandah and the man turns his head.

All the air in Louis’ lungs is sucked out and he freezes. It can’t be. It’s not possible.

“H-Harry…?”

Harry smiles, big and broad and welcoming and Louis feels like the world has stopped spinning. Harry gets to his feet and brushes down the front of his shirt with his hands. 

“Hi, Louis. Fancy a cuppa?”

“What the… Yeah, uhm, tea. Okay?”

Harry chuckles and makes his way over to Louis, striding with his long legs, hair bouncing around his shoulders. 

Louis can’t move. He wants to, so badly, but his feet are planted on the spot. Harry comes up to the steps and takes each one slowly, tentatively, like he’s afraid of spooking Louis. He halts on the step just below Louis, evening out their height and tilts his head in question. They’re so close and Louis has a flash of a memory from their night, fifteen years ago. The years have been kind to Harry, his hair is greying and his face has a weathered edge, but he’s still as handsome as Louis remembers. Kind eyes, dimpled cheek, broad shoulders that taper down to a narrow waist and further to those legs. Damn. Those legs.

A surge of energy snaps through Louis like a current and before he can stop himself he’s flinging his arms around him. Harry braces himself with a soft  _ oof _ and wraps him up tightly. So safe and sure and secure.

“ _ Harry… _ ” is all Louis can manage to get out, his scent and warmth are everywhere and completely consumes him.

“Nice to see you too, Lou,” Harry says with a gentle laugh, rubbing Louis’ back soothingly.

Louis should let go, the embrace has long since passed the point of being a  _ hello _ and moved into dangerous  _ don’t let me go  _ territory, but he’s struggling to find it within himself to care. He clutches at Harry’s shirt and buried his head into his neck, breathing in everything he can.

“Harry.” It’s like it’s the only word he knows anymore and he feels the emotion bubbling up inside clawing its way to the surface. The tears surprise him, pouring out without his permission and onto Harry’s bare skin.

“Hey there, shhhhh... it’s alright.” Harry’s words bring him back from the abyss and he flushes with embarrassment, pulling back and lowering his head. 

Harry runs his hands over Louis’ arms, calming him, grounding him. “Shit, sorry, I don’t know…” Louis looks up and meets Harry’s eyes, they’re concerned and seeking out understanding where there is none to find.

“Come on, let’s have some tea, yeah?”

Louis laughs, and it’s self-deprecating and nervous but he nods anyway. Harry gives his elbows a squeeze and leads Louis down the steps on shaky legs, guiding him to one of the half-trunk sleepers by the fire pit. The flames lick at the pot as Harry scoops the water out with two tin mugs, popping in a couple of bags and setting them to the side to steep.

Louis is mesmerized, just watching him and absorbing the scene. It’s all so unbelievable. “I can’t believe you’re here. I must still be dreaming.”

Harry comes and sits beside him and hands him his mug. “It’ll be hot, careful.” The sleeper is small but just big enough for both of them, their thighs pressed together.

“How… how did you know I was here?”

“Uhm… I didn’t, actually,” Harry shrugs and looks at Louis. His eyes are so open and clear and the most stunning green Louis has ever seen. Over the years the pictures in his head had merged with his own imaginations, but seeing the real thing again is breathtaking. “I go for a walk at sunrise each morning and I saw the smoke hanging in the valley. It gets trapped by the cold night air. We had some trouble a while back with hikers leaving the campsite in a mess, so I come and check on it from time to time.”

“Oh, that makes sense I guess,” Louis says and he knows he’s staring, cataloging Harry’s features. The lines around his eyes and at the side of his mouth etched on his face showing his age but in a graceful way that Louis envies, his skin, still so milky white, his lips, plush and full, slightly chapped from the outdoors. Louis commits everything to memory, never again wanting to forget even the smallest feature.

“I poked my head into the cabin to make sure everything was okay, and there you were, all curled up and snuffling in your sleep. I couldn’t… I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. What’re you even doing here, Lou? It’s been fifteen years. God. I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I just… I needed to get away. From everything. Clear my head and try to make sense of things.” Louis can feel the emotion welling up inside of him again but he pushes it down and sucks in a lungful of air. “Things were hard and confusing and I… this was the only place... This is where it all started and the only place I could think of coming.”

Harry rests his hand on Louis’ thigh and gives it a pat. “Well, whatever brought you here I hope you can find what you’re looking for. I’d uhm… I’d like to help if I can?”

“Thanks, Harry. I don’t know what I need, to be honest. Just time, maybe? Peace and quiet.”

A big, beaming smile spreads across Harry’s face. “That... is something I can definitely help with.”

Louis tilts his head to the side and quirks his brow. “Yeah?”

“The farm, the old commune, is thriving now. Just over the ridge.” Harry waves his hand in the direction of the trail leading out from the campsite and up over the mountain. “I bought the property about ten years back. It’s different though. Less hippy and more at one with nature. There’s twelve of us and we’re fairly self-sufficient, grow most of our own vegetables, generate our own power, all that stuff. I have a proper lab set up for my studies and horticulture. A few of the others are scientists too, and we’ve started taking in students as well for prac sessions,” Harry says proudly.

“Wow. That sounds amazing, Harry. You’ve done well for yourself.” Now it’s Harry’s turn for a little bit of embarrassment, a flush creeping up his neck.

“Would you uhm… would you like to see?”

Louis lays his hand over Harry’s and grips his fingers, Harry’s gaze falling to their joined hands. “Yeah, I’d love to.” 

~~~~

The walk is only about twenty minutes and they chat happily along the way about their lives, catching up at a small-talk level, nothing too deep for now. It’s comfortable and the air around them is still and crisp, the sun not having climbed high enough into the sky to warm the day yet. 

It was that night with Harry, seemingly a lifetime ago, that had first awakened something in Louis that he couldn’t completely identify. Sitting by the fire pit and talking about so many topics, from politics to the changing landscape with respect to sexualities, to the cultural pushback, the fear, the prejudice, the growth of the movement, acceptance, freedom to worship, freedom to love, music, writing, everything. It had opened his eyes and never had he before, or since, felt so able to speak freely with another person.

After his return, the night with Harry had never been far from his thoughts. Not always explicitly, but it was there, in the background, casting a questioning light, like an internal check on himself with every action he took and every decision he made.

He’s always been open-minded with those around him, the people he’d encountered with his work, and the community in San Francisco. In recent years, though, this has begun to apply more and more to himself. He was committed to Mandy and the life he had built with her, their children and now grandchildren, but with the crumbling of their relationship, and ultimately their divorce, it had freed him up to consider a new future. Whatever that may be, without the traditional expectations. That’s part of the reason he’s out here, searching for whatever  _ that _ is. He hopes he can get some clarity and maybe meeting up with Harry again is fate’s way of giving him a little shove. For now, though, he’s just going to let it wash over him and enjoy the ride.

They arrive at the edge of the trees and the scene that unfolds before them is not at all what Louis had expected. There is a large wooden, single-story cabin off to the side with a wrap-around veranda and smoke billowing from the chimney. In the center, a long greenhouse with plastic sheeting on the sides and roof takes pride of place. To the other side, Louis can see smaller cabins dotted up the hillside backing onto the tree line. There is a chicken run, a few sheds, and some raised garden beds with plants standing at various heights; ripe, red tomatoes hanging heavily and baying the stems, beans in abundance on spindly stalks, lettuce and spinach lower around the base. Beyond the larger cabin, a wide pathway leads to a tilled field with dotted green seedlings stretching far into the distance. Another adjacent field has what appear to be cauliflowers and corn planted in rows, heaped soil raising them up from the channels between them. It’s organised and not at all what one would imagine when thinking of a commune. Louis loves it instantly.

“Welcome to The Grove,” Harry says with a wave of his hand and a low bow, making Louis giggle.

“Why thank you, kind Sir.”

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” Harry presses his hand onto Louis’ lower back just under his pack and it sends a shiver through his body. He hasn’t yet fully reconciled his brain with his body’s responses to Harry and his touch, but he’s getting there. He knows enough to not want him to stop though, and that’s enough for now.

Harry takes him to the main cabin first so he can drop off his pack and sleeping bag. It’s lovely, warm and inviting, neat as a pin but homey at the same time. Kind of like Harry, Louis muses.

The tour takes them around the entire property and Harry takes great pleasure in sharing his work and introducing him to the latest batch of students who are engrossed in a new study on companion planting to test its benefits in pest control and crop productivity. It’s fascinating, and Harry is obviously excited about the work they're doing. 

He meets Alan and Ella, a married couple who are both biologists and have been with Harry for a few years, and Freda and Bonny, who are a lesbian couple and focus on the applications for companion planting in the developing world. A group of five scientists from England - Geoff, David, Greg, Penny, and Sally - who are writing papers on permaculture. Business partners Josh and Toby, a gay couple who are researching organic gardening practices and looking to start a business in Southern California. It’s a great crew and Louis warms to the environment immediately. 

They finish up back at Harry’s cabin and go about making some breakfast. Louis is starving and the vegetarian omelet is mouthwateringly good. Harry gets him settled in the spare bedroom and he showers and changes as Harry heads off to start work, assuring Louis he has the run of the place to explore as he desires.

He spends some time in the lab with Freda and helps out Alan in the field, collecting samples and taking readings, while absorbing everything that he can. He loves learning new things and the work they’re doing here is so different from anything he’s ever experienced before. By the end of the day, his head is swimming with so much new information and his muscles ache in the best possible way from a day on the land. No longer a stiff back from sitting trapped in an office, but good, manual labour, the blisters on his hands and the tinge of sunburn a testament to the work he’s done.

As the sun dips down, they gather around the fire pit, talking about their days and what’s on the schedule for tomorrow. There’s a large delivery of supplies coming in by truck which will need coordination to unload at the drop-off point out on the main road and then brought into The Grove via their tractor and overland buggy. It’s a full day exercise and Alan usually looks after the tractor, but he has a critical deadline to meet for the submission of his latest paper to the university.

“I can drive a tractor, actually, I’d be glad to help out,” Louis offers with a shrug.

“Really? Oh, Lou, that would be amazing. Are you sure?” Harry’s eyes light up and Louis smiles, happy to be able to participate.

“Yeah, of course. I worked at an orchard during uni breaks and drove one around for months.”

Alan’s shoulders relax. “Thanks, mate. That’d be great! I’ll run you through the ways of the old girl in the morning, because she can be a bit temperamental, and then follow you out on the trail bike to get you set up at the drop off point.” He reaches out with his beer and taps the neck of Louis’ bottle. “You’re a bloody lifesaver.”

Louis smiles and settles back into his camp chair, glancing over at Harry who is smiling at him fondly. He expects him to look away once Louis has returned his smile, but he doesn’t, and a zip of something sparks in his veins as he feels himself blush, holding his gaze.

Harry takes a swig of his beer but doesn’t break their stare, and Louis’ eyes dart down to his bobbing Adam’s apple and back to Harry’s plush lips wrapped around the top. The sun has set now and the fire is casting shadows across his face, his strong jawline, high cheekbones, and highlighting the wisps of grey hair peeking out from under his woolen beanie. 

Louis takes a sip of his own beer, mirroring Harry’s motion and allowing his stare to intensify. It’s a heady feeling, dangerous and new, and he shifts in his chair. He’s not entirely sure of his intent or what he expects Harry to do in response, but he knows he’s putting out a challenge. He lowers the bottle and rests it on his knee, sliding his hand around and gripping it more tightly, the condensation trickling down off his palm. Harry narrows his eyes and the side of his mouth curls up in a lopsided grin. Louis rolls his eyes fondly and turns back to the group, trying to refocus on the conversation, but he lets his gaze flit back to Harry for just long enough to see the self-satisfied expression on his face.


	2. Pass The Salt, Please

The tractor is old and worn and certainly has some idiosyncrasies that Louis has to master, but it’s good, honest work. The heat of the day has well and truly arrived and he’s sweating up a storm. Leon and Bess, two of the current crop of prac students, have been brilliant. The three of them have managed to do all the small loads with the buggy and now they’re strapping down the last of the bigger items onto the trailer hooked up to the tractor. Long planks of wood for a new shed, sleepers for another two planter boxes, rolls of plastic to replace some of those that have torn on the greenhouse, and a multitude of other building materials. Most of the items have been locally sourced and paid for by the grants Harry receives for his work and the funding from the university where the students come from.

Harry had explained some of it over a late night cuppa before they’d turned in for the evening. The figures are good and their self-sufficiency aids not only their studies but also helps to keep The Grove’s operating costs down.

Their flirting, as Louis has now decided to acknowledge it as, had continued. Not overtly by any means, but it was there, just humming under the surface as they talked and readied themselves for bed. A lingering glance here, a brush of fingers there, a coy smile, the bat of eyelashes. By the time Louis had showered and crawled between the soft sheets, his head was practically swimming. He knows he’s attracted to Harry, he freely admits that to himself now, and all indications are that Harry feels the same. He’s just not entirely sure what to do with that realization. 

Unloading the trailer once they return is considerably easier work than loading it up had been, thanks to the multitude of extra hands to make light work of the task. Harry and Alan are grateful for Louis’ assistance and thank him over and over again. Louis tries to shrug it off as no big deal but he’s secretly enjoying basking in Harry’s gratitude and attention. He feels like he’s contributing, earning his keep, and he resolves to seek out other ways to participate while he’s here, however long that may be. 

He doesn’t have anything to rush back to, his small apartment seeming far away and a very different world from what he has found at The Grove. It’s only been a day and yet he feels completely at home. Having resigned from his job and finished up last week, there’s no deadline for his return. No one waiting for him. No one missing him. No commitments. There’s the kids, of course, but they have their own lives, busy raising their own children and working hard to get ahead. 

He’s thought about maybe moving into consulting, rather than being tied down with one firm or government department. He’s done alright for himself so far and has a good nest egg, even with what he has to pay out to Mandy each month. The family home and his apartment are paid off and he has no other debts. He really is free for the first time in his adult life and he’s going to make the most of it before he jumps into anything else.

He parks the tractor and trailer, covers them in the large, canvas tarps, and wanders back through the main yard. He takes off his work gloves and tucks them into his jean shorts, pushing his sunglasses onto the top of his head as he makes a beeline for Harry’s cabin.

Kicking off his boots on the verandah, the smells of food cooking peak his interest and he heads inside. Harry is standing at the stove, hips swaying side to side as he sings lowly. The deep timbre of his voice washes over Louis and beckons him closer. As he approaches he recognizes the song. Their song. Well, that’s what Louis relates it to in his head.  _ Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow _ Harry rasps out. He’s got a great voice. Louis stops, not wanting to disturb him or bring the song to an early end. He lets the last line hang in the air for a moment but feels the need to make his presence known, for Harry’s attention to be focused on him. 

“Nice pipes you’ve got there.”

Harry spins around, startled. “Shit. I didn’t hear you come in.”

Louis chuckles. “I was just enjoying the song,” he tells him as he comes up alongside Harry.

“Fuck, warn a man, yeah? I nearly upended our dinner on the floor.”

“Smells good. What’s on the menu?” Louis tries to peer into the pan but Harry hip-checks him, pushing him away.

“Nope. You’re filthy and you stink. Go wash up and it’ll be ready when you get out.”

“Oi! I don’t stink,” Louis huffs indignantly, lifting his arm and sniffing dramatically. “Oh, yeah, you’re right,” he giggles.

“Told you. Now go on, away with you!” Harry says with a high pitched shriek.

“Awwww… you don’t like my stench?” Louis asks playfully coming to stand right behind Harry and holding his arms out.

“Don’t you bloody dare!”

“What?” Louis adopts an innocence in his tone that belies his actions as he drapes his arms over Harry’s shoulders and presses his chest flush with his back.

Harry smells delicious, or maybe it’s the food, or perhaps it’s both, Louis can’t tell, but either way it’s an intoxicating mix. “Louuuu…” Harry whines and pushes his arse back into Louis’ crotch. Louis gasps at the contact and quickly covers it with a cough. He pats Harry on the back and steps away.

“Alright. I’ll go shower and clean this  _ stench _ off me, but only because you’re making me dinner.” Louis turns and pads towards the bathroom pausing at the doorway to look back at Harry. He’s standing over the pan, wooden spoon clutched in his hand, frozen in the spot. He can see his chest rising and falling with deep inhales and exhales and Louis realizes that they’re matching his own laboured breaths. Well, that escalated quickly.

~~~~

The next few days bring a heat wave, unlike anything Louis has ever felt before. It’s scorching during the day, only sunset bringing a welcome reprieve, but life at The Grove continues regardless. Louis helps Alan build the new shed which will house an upgraded generator due to arrive on the next major supply delivery. It’s backbreaking work but it feels good to see something he’s created with his own two hands take shape before his eyes. He’s learning new skills and putting old ones to good use.

He and Harry have continued to flirt and dance around each other, still testing the waters but becoming braver with their interactions each day. Louis is reveling in it. The closeness and growing intimacy is addictive and he finds himself thinking about Harry when they’re apart. He loves their evenings together, cooking and relaxing and talking about their days. Harry’s passion for his work is infectious and Louis finds himself just sitting and listening to him explain the science behind what he’s doing with an ever increasing interest. Harry worries that he’s boring him, but Louis always assures him that nothing could be further from the truth.

“That was so good, Haz,” Louis says and sets down his fork, swallowing the last mouthful of Harry’s Bean Surprise. The nickname is a new development, but Harry’s fond smile when he first used it was more than enough for it to be set in stone.

Harry lifts his wine glass and takes another sip. “Mmmm… yeah, it’s nothing flash, but it’s a good standby, plus the leftovers will make great burritos for lunch.”

Louis refills their glasses, draining the rest of the bottle. He’s freshly showered, with a full belly and his head is buzzing pleasantly from the wine. It’s from a local organic vineyard which Harry had raved about and Louis can see why.

Louis stretches out his arm and rotates it, stretching out his shoulder which has taken a beating over the last few days.

“Sore?” Harry inquires, brows knitting together in a cute little frown and yes, Louis has officially moved onto referring to him as cute. Well, cute and handsome and beautiful and every other adjective he can think of.

“Yeah. Just a twinge in my shoulder. Nothing disastrous.” Louis smirks and lowers his arm. “Don’t worry, love, I’ll be fine to start on the planter boxes tomorrow.” Harry rolls his eyes and smiles. Love, and yeah, in addition to the nicknames, pet names are also a thing now too. But Harry smiles so sweetly when he drops one into the conversation he’d be a fool not to make it a regular occurrence.

“Oh! I’ve got this great massage oil you can use,” Harry says excitedly. “I got it from this woman on the outskirts of town, who I’m fairly certain is a witch, well, at least she thinks she’s a witch and who am I to disagree? It’s light on the fragrance, just a hint of lavender, but it's like magic, really soothing.”

“Alright, I’m game, but if I break out in hives you’ll have to nurse me back to health, and fair warning, I’m a shit patient,” Louis says with a smirk. “Needy and clingy and whiny. You sure you wanna risk it?”

“Nurse Harry at your service.” Harry salutes for effect. “And don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of experience, Kevin was a sh...” he trails off, eyes cast downward and he takes a long drink from his wine glass.

They haven’t talked much about Harry’s past relationships, but Louis senses there’s a memory that’s crept up on Harry with this comment and he doesn’t know whether to push it any further. They’ve talked about Louis’ divorce and the long road that led to him and Mandy growing apart, but Harry has been a relatively closed book.

Harry looks up and meets Louis gaze. His expression is one of wariness and he searches Louis’ eyes for something like he’s deciding whether to open himself up. Louis decides to go all-in and try to convey the sense of reassurance he thinks Harry’s seeking. He reaches over and takes Harry’s hand, gripping tightly before rubbing his thumb over the backs of his knuckles.

Harry lets out a long breath and his shoulders relax. “Kevin wasn’t a very good patient either.”

It’s the first time Harry has acknowledged his sexuality out loud to Louis and it feels monumental and somehow irrelevant at the same time. It’s a big step for them and Louis appreciates him sharing it with him. “Yeah? Tell me about him.”

“He was… we were together for about five years, six if you count the last year but it was a sort of a long goodbye situation. This life wasn’t really for him. He gave it a shot and I thought he’d settle down but he was a city boy at heart and in the end this… I wasn't enough.” There’s a sorrow in his voice that Louis hasn’t heard before and it makes him want to wrap Harry in his arms and take all the hurt and pain away. “We drifted apart and his trips to city became longer and longer, and when he’d come back he was irritated and frustrated with everything. The pace, my work, the other scientists, the isolation. That was a couple of years ago and he’s moved on now. I’m happy for him. And I guess I’m happy for me too. He wasn’t a bad guy, you know? We just wanted different things. I just always felt guilty, like I was keeping him here against his will. I think I was relieved more than anything when it finally ended,” Harry tells him with a shrug, picking up his glass and draining the last of the wine.

Louis considers his next words carefully. “I think… I think we all embark on journeys to find our place in the world. Sometimes those roads are winding, sometimes we have people with us along the way, sometimes we don’t, but ultimately we’re all seeking happiness and love and purpose, a sense of belonging. Life can throw us curve balls and we just have to be ready to grab on with both hands when the right thing comes along. Where we find that can be a surprise, even to ourselves, but when we do, we know it in our hearts.”

Harry looks at him, eyes glistening, and he lays his free hand over the top of Louis’. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re very wise?”

“Well,” Louis says with a grin. “I’m quite old, you know. Old and wise.”

Harry honks out a laugh and Louis would pay dearly to have him make that sound every day. “You’re not old, Lou.”

“My shoulder begs to differ.”

“Alright, old man. Let’s deal with these dishes and then we’ll get you sorted.” Harry squeezes his hand one last time and stands. Louis misses his touch already.

~~~~

They dispense with the dishes swiftly and Harry instructs him to take another shower, a hot one this time to relax his muscles. Louis does as he’s told and comes out to find Harry sitting on the end of his bed, spinning a small jar in his hands, knee bouncing nervously.

“That the witches brew then?”

Harry snaps his head up and stills. Louis hadn’t put his shirt back on and he’s wearing only his boxers. A part of him had wondered what Harry’s reaction would be and he’s not disappointed. Harry’s eyes rake over his chest, darting aroun, unable to settle on one place. Louis smiles to himself. He’s not buff by any means, but he reckons he looks okay for his age. His muscles are defined and he has a small crop of hair between his pecs, it’s greying slightly and there’s not enough of it for him to be considered hairy, but he’s always kind of liked it. He scratches at the line of hair that trails below his belly button, drawing Harry’s eyes down further. There’s a hunger in them, and he watches as Harry lets his tongue peek out and run along the seam of his lips.

Louis moves forward and Harry gathers himself. “Right. Yes. So this is the oil. A little goes a long way so best to use it sparingly.”

Louis wonders how far he should take this. He’s teetering on the edge now and he wants to let go, wants to feel Harry’s hands on him so much, but he doesn’t want to spook him either. He comes to a stop in front of Harry forcing him to look up. “Thought maybe you could show me some of that Nurse Harry bedside manner? Might be a bit hard for me to reach around,” Louis says and waits, hoping Harry is on the same page. “Only if that’s okay with you?”

“What? Oh! Yeah, sure. Of course. Sorry.” Harry stumbles over his words and it’s really quite adorable. Louis expects him to move but he just sits and stares.

“Uhhh… did you wanna move back and I can sit between your legs?” Louis indicates with a wave of his hands.

Harry nods, a bit dazed, and scoots back making room for Louis in front of him. Louis turns and sits down, Harry’s thighs sliding inwards and cradling him in their embrace. He can feel Harry everywhere and it’s so intimate, his breath fanning out over his neck and sending sparks down his spine.

He hears Harry unscrew the lid and feels a tremble in his thighs, the shudder causing Louis to shiver reflexively. The first touch of Harry’s fingers is tentative as he spreads the oil over his shoulder blades.

“Think you might need to rub a bit harder, Haz,” Louis teases and turns his head to look behind him.

Harry rolls his eyes and pokes Louis in the cheek, forcing his head back around to face front. “Shut up, you.”

“Oi! Where’s that winning bedside manner I was promised?”

“God,  _ fine _ ,” Harry huffs and starts rubbing the oil into Louis’ skin properly instead of just spreading it around. His movements are still lighter than they probably need to be, but clearly Harry is working up to it gradually. Mandy was never big on massages and she was pretty horrible at them anyway, which Louis always suspected was a ploy so he would stop asking. It was successful and he’d stopped asking for them, stopped asking for a lot of things actually.

Harry digs in a bit harder, getting his fingers under the blades, splaying his hands and thumbing up his spine. Louis drops his head to his chest and lets his hands come to rest on Harry’s knees for leverage, hearing Harry’s breath catch. Louis’ fringe falls in front of his eyes and his lips part, warm air puffing out in time with Harry’s ministrations. They’re surer now, firmer, using the heels of his palms to massage his sensitive flesh. He finds the source of the problem and a burning sensation courses through the strained muscle, accompanied by a moan that slips out of Louis’ mouth involuntarily. Harry’s fingers falter, almost imperceptibly, before he continues, pressing at it again and again.

“ _ Fuck _ . Feels so good, Haz, right there.”

“Yeah?” 

“Mhmmm… don’t know about the oil but your fingers are definitely magic.”

Harry chuckles and Louis feels it through his entire body. “Hush, I’m busy.” He squeezes Louis’ shoulders for emphasis and Louis very nearly melts into the bed, gripping onto Harry’s knees, and toes curling on the floor. He works over Louis’ neck, triceps, and spine to give some relief before returning and drawing out the knot. Louis feels like he’s drifting, rocking on the sea, up and over the crests of the waves. He moves with it, rubbing his hands up and down Harry’s thighs in a rhythmic motion, the fine hairs threading through his dainty fingers, hips shifting back and forth, pushing against Harry’s crotch. He can’t control the arousal that is sparking in his veins and firing around his body and he doesn’t want to.

Harry’s hands drift over the tops of Louis’ shoulders to his collarbones and Louis lifts his head, laying it back on Harry’s chest and tilting it so his temple is pressed against Harry’s jaw.

“Lou…” Harry whispers as he trails featherlight touches up his elongated neck and then back down through Louis’ chest hair to his stomach. Louis’ abs clench and he sucks in his gut, breaths heavy, eyes closed, allowing his other senses to take over.

Louis reaches up and threads his fingers behind Harry’s head, arching his back, and pressing his arse into Harry’s crotch. It makes him feel exposed, wanton, sexy. He noses into Harry’s cheek and forces his legs apart as far as he can within the confines of Harry’s legs.

“ _ Harry… _ ” he whimpers, rolling his hips causing Harry’s hands to drop to either side of his groin, resting at the very tops of his thighs, so close to where he desperately wants them.

“Lou… tell me what you want me to do.  _ Please _ , god. I don’t… I don’t wanna overstep.” Harry balls his fists to hold himself in check and while he appreciates Harry’s restraint, that’s not what he wants. 

Louis licks his lips and murmurs. “What do you want to do?” The tone of his voice surprises him, so sultry, beckoning Harry with his words. He turns his head and stares at Harry’s lips, plush and full like he’s been biting at them.

“Fuck… so much. I wanna do so much, but-“

Louis leans up and presses his lips to Harry’s, cutting off his words. It’s chaste and wet and the best fucking thing Louis has ever felt. A current shoots around his body and fires through his cock, he’s almost fully hard now, just from the feeling of Harry around him, on him, enveloping him. Harry brings a hand up to cradle Louis’ jaw and leans into the kiss, the sticky oil clinging to his scruff. Louis opens up immediately and their tongues find each other, pushing and prodding, exploring every crevice. He can’t breathe, overwhelmed, gripping Harry’s curls and tugging gently, eliciting a beautiful moan in response. Harry changes the angle of his head, allowing them to suck in the air they both need before diving back in. It’s harder now, rougher, more urgent, each man taking and giving in equal measure. Louis rotates his hips and feels the hard line of Harry’s cock against his lower back.

Louis wants Harry’s hand on him and he doesn’t want to wait another moment to know what it feels like. He reaches down with one hand, leaving the other buried in Harry’s curls, and takes hold of Harry’s wrist, gently guiding it from his upper thigh and over to his cock. Harry pulls his mouth away, sucking in a sharp breath between their parted lips and opens his fist, palm pressing into the base of Louis’ shaft.

“ _ Yes… _ ” Louis groans. “Please, Harry.”

Harry complies easily and starts stroking his length and Louis feels it everywhere, deep in his bones, all the way to his fingertips and to the ends of his toes. He’s never been so turned on and he thinks like he might burst at the seams. Louis takes his hand away and edges forward just enough to twist his arm around behind him, sliding it down between his back and Harry’s front. He wraps around Harry’s length and it feels so big, hot and heavy, and the mere act of having another man’s cock in his hand is fucking amazing.

Harry groans and finds Louis’ mouth again, nipping at his bottom lip. Louis bucks up into Harry’s hand in time with his own languid strokes of Harry’s cock. He wants to feel it, really feel it so he wiggles his fingers under the waistband of Harry’s sweats. His pubes are coarse and contrast with the smoothness of Harry’s skin. It feels familiar but so foreign at the same time.

“Fuck, Lou. Yeah, that’s it,” Harry murmurs and starts to kiss and suck at Louis neck as he slides his fingers into Louis boxers. The slippery glide of Harry’s hand down his shaft to his balls and back again is better than anything he’s ever felt. Harry is practiced and confident and it’s so different to when he gets himself off, and a world away from how it ever was with Mandy.

“Haz, feels so good. Want… want…” Louis doesn’t even know what he’s asking for, he just wants everything.

“Lou, can I blow you?”

Louis’ eyes fly open and he grips Harry’s cock in his hand firmly. “That’s… you want to... yeah,” he breathes out releasing his hold of Harry’s cock. Harry removes his hand from Louis’ boxers and grabs hold of his hips pushing him up to standing and spinning him around. 

Harry nuzzles into his crotch and winds his arms around Louis’ arse pulling him in tightly as Louis pets his hair, marveling at the sheer intimacy of the moment. Harry raises up his head, gazing at Louis and brings his hands to Louis’ waist, tucking his fingers into the elastic band and looking at Louis questioningly. Louis nods and Harry pulls them down, inch by inch, until they’re pooled at his ankles, exposing Louis completely, hard dick standing out from his body, bobbing with every pulse of his heartbeat.

“Gorgeous,” Harry says in awe as he runs his hands over Louis’ arse cheeks and down the backs of his thighs, the lamplight causing his eyelashes to cast shadows across his cheekbones.

Louis shivers and feels his skin erupt into goose pimples as he cups Harry’s face in his hands. “You’re one to talk. Look at you. Most handsome man in all the land.”

Harry chuckles and trails his knuckles up the insides of Louis thighs, their eyes remaining locked on one another. He fondles Louis’ balls, already tight against his body and Louis trembles, legs ready to give out. Harry opens up and licks a stripe from base to tip, swirling his tongue around the crown before closing his plump lips around the head, hollowing his cheeks and sucking him further into his hot, wet mouth.

Louis’ legs buckle but he steadies himself on Harry’s shoulders. “Fucking  _ hell _ … Haz, your mouth,” Louis has never felt anything like this before, literally never. “Haz, Haz,” he pants out as Harry starts sliding his tongue up and down the underside of his dick, massaging the throbbing vein. “I’ve never… oh my  _ god _ .”

“Mhmmmm…” Harry moans around him sending the reverberations throughout his body. He’s close, can feel it building in his gut, thrumming through his veins, he’s not going to last. He wants to hold on, wants this to last forever, but his body is on a trajectory all of its own and he has no control over what it’s going to do.

“Gonna come, Haz,” he manages to get out between the heaving of his lungs as he gasps for breath.

Harry simply nods, taking him down further, and Louis feels himself hit the back of Harry’s throat. A rhythmic pressure forms around the head and he realizes Harry is swallowing around him. It’s the most erotic thing he’s ever experienced and it’s too much, he digs his fingers into Harry’s shoulders and holds on for dear life as he feels his orgasm slam into him. He comes, waves of pleasure firing around his body, and he throws his head back as Harry pulls off slightly, his come spurting onto his tongue and filling his mouth. He wants to apologize, tries to pull out fully, but Harry has ahold of his arse and isn’t letting him go anywhere. His vision is blurry and his legs are like jelly but Harry keeps sucking on him, milking every last drop.

Louis slumps forward, elbows resting on Harry shoulders and Harry pops off, his arms coming around under Louis arse to hold him up. The ground shifts under him and he’s suddenly in the air, disorientated until he realizes Harry has lifted him up, cradling him to his chest. He spins and walks them to the side of the bed, laying Louis down. Louis feels groggy and floaty and sated as he watches Harry through hooded eyes. Harry strips off his shirt and pants, standing naked before him. 

Louis has never considered himself shy or self-conscious, not at all, but seeing Harry’s naked body on full display, so unabashed, so brazen, so beautiful, makes him wonder how Harry sees him. But Harry’s gaze tells him everything he needs to know. It’s so primal and animalistic like he wants to eat him whole, and Louis would very much like to do the same. He scoots over on the bed to make room, reaching out his hand for Harry who knees up on the bed and throws a leg over Louis’ lap, straddling him. His cock is hard and red and angry, precome glistening on the tip, and Louis can’t take his eyes off it. He wants to touch it, taste it. He extends a shaking hand and runs his finger over the slit making Harry groan before bringing it to his mouth, sucking on it and savouring the flavor.

He knows what he wants to do and the look in Harry’s eyes give him the confidence he needs. He bucks up and taps at Harry’s hip, realization dawning on his face. Harry swings his leg back over and lays down on his back as Louis turns on his side and raises himself up on his elbow. 

Louis allows his eyes to wander over Harry’s defined stomach and chest, drinking him in. He walks his fingers over the same path, around Harry’s puffy nipples, flicking at the swollen buds eliciting a moan from the man beneath him. He could explore his body for days, years even, and maybe he will, but for now he wants something more urgently. He ducks his head down and noses at Harry’s groin, the scent is musky and manly and it sends a shot of arousal to his flaccid dick, twitching in interest once again much to his delight.

Harry’s hand comes to settle at the nape of Louis’ neck, just resting, no pressure being applied. “Fuck yeah, Lou.”

Louis takes the encouragement and forges on, letting his mouth fall open and tongue lave a broad stripe up Harry’s cock. It’s hot, burning, and the skin is smooth and soft. It feels strange, foreign, like everything is upside down and inside out, but he loves it, loves everything about it. He suckles on the head, a burst of salty precome hitting his taste buds and making his mouth fill with saliva. Louis shuffles closer to get a better angle, bringing his hand up to steady Harry’s dick and feed more of into his mouth. It’s all so new and he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but the sounds Harry is making urge him on. 

“God, Lou, your mouth. So sinful. S-So good,” Harry stutters out. Louis doubles his efforts and takes him down further. Harry hits the back of his throat and Louis gags, pulling back, eyes darting up to Harry’s, but he’s just staring at Louis with wide, hungry eyes, so he keeps going. Bobbing and sucking with renewed purpose, and moaning low in his chest just as Harry had done. It has the desired effect and Harry starts writhing on the bed, hands flying up to brace himself on the headboard. Louis uses his hand to stroke the part of Harry’s dick he can’t fit in his mouth, his saliva dripping down the shaft to smooth the glide. 

“Lou, m’close,” Harry says through gritted teeth and tries to pull back but Louis isn’t having it. He sucks and licks and swirls his tongue like a man on a mission and Harry’s whole body tenses. “Fuck! Yes!” Harry shouts and slaps his hands on the headboard. Louis feels the first spurt in his tongue and it startles him, the sensation is strange, hot and sticky and salty, but he keeps going. He wants to make this as good as he can for Harry so he sucks harder, sliding up and down, drawing Harry’s come out of him. There’s a lot and he has to swallow, gulping it down, slurping as Harry’s body shakes and twitches with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Louis slows his motions, letting Harry come down gently. He watches as Harry’s breathing starts to even out and he lets his spent dick fall from his mouth, eyes fixed on him. He kisses a path up his stomach and lays his head on Harry’s chest, tired and happy, draping his arm over Harry’s waist and snuggling in. Harry brings his arms down and wraps Louis in a tight hug, kissing him on the top of his head.

“That… was fucking  _ amazing _ . Jesus, Lou.”

Louis smiles and nods, burying himself into Harry’s warm body. “Right back at you. Not bad for a first go.”

“Mmmmm…” Harry hums. “Wait, what?”

Louis isn’t embarrassed, he has no reason to be. He raises himself up on his elbow and meets Harry’s questioning gaze. “My first go. Never given anyone a blow job before.”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me?  _ God _ , Lou. Are you alright? I mean, shit…” Harry rolls into his side and extends his arm, patting the space in front of him. “Come here, you idiot.”

Louis chuckles and crawls up the bed, laying down and resting his head on Harry’s outstretched arm. He looks up from underneath his eyelashes. “Was it okay?” 

“Jesus, of  _ course _ it was okay. Better than okay. Brilliant. Award-winning.” Harry leans in and kisses him, cradling his head in his palm. “It was perfect. But seriously, we should probably talk about this. Should’ve probably talked before we did that actually. I’m really sorry, Lou.”

“Haz, you don’t need to apologize. It was amazing. I loved it. I just maybe didn’t know what I was doing?”

“Well, the thing with blow jobs is to just go with what you like and that’s a pretty safe bet.”

Louis smiles shyly. “Only had one to compare to so not a lot of material to work with.”

“You’ve never been with another guy?”

“Nope.”

“Just Mandy then?”

“No. Just you.”

“Wait. What?” Harry pulls back, shocked. “Mandy never…”

Louis shakes his head. “Mandy and I were each other’s firsts. And we really didn’t know what the hell we were doing. She liked it plain and simple. And didn’t like sticking any body parts in her mouth, definitely not my dick.” Louis pauses but figures he may as well spit it all out. “She never let me go down on her either. She thought it was disgusting. So it was missionary and spooning. We tried doggy style once but she moved suddenly and I accidentally prodded her arsehole with my dick so that position was a hard no from then on. But it wasn’t all bad. I like to think we had quite a satisfying sex life,” Louis finishes with a shrug. It really wasn’t all bad, they loved each other dearly, the sex was just never a priority for them.

“Fuck Lou, why didn’t you  _ say _ something?”

“And how exactly should I have worked that into the conversation? Great omelet, oh yeah, I’m a gay sex virgin and have never even had my cock sucked, pass the salt, please.”

Harry barks out a laugh and Louis giggles. Their laughter gradually dies down and Harry looks at him, expression turning serious. “No, but seriously, Lou. I really like you, and I think, I  _ hope  _ you like me.” Louis nods and feels a blush creep up his neck. “So I want you to be comfortable with everything we do. We can talk it all out beforehand if you’d like.”

Louis thinks about brushing it off, but he wants them to be able to be open and honest with each other. “Yeah. Yeah, actually that would be good.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to Harry’s lips. Harry opens up and he can taste himself on his tongue, a spark of arousal shooting straight to his dick.

Harry pulls back and quirks his brow, a cheeky smile spreading across his face. “So… I take it you’ve never been rimmed then?”

“I’ve never been what now?”

“Oh, Lou… we’re going to have so much fun.”


	3. Man's Best Friend

Louis rolls onto his back and stretches his arms up to the headboard, the muscle under his shoulder blade emitting a dull ache and reminding him of his overexertion from the previous day. He lets himself ease into consciousness as images from the night before flash behind his eyelids; a long tanned body, hungry eyes, hard cock, puffy nipples, plush lips. His mind adds a soundtrack of moans and pleads and gasps, as his taste buds react to the memory of salty come and sweat, saliva pooling in his mouth. He opens his eyes and smiles, curling his toes in the sheets and listens to Harry pottering around in the kitchen.

It must still be early, the sun’s rays not yet fully penetrating the room, but Louis doesn’t want to waste another minute alone when he could be spending it with Harry. Swinging his legs out of bed he gets to his feet, padding over to the dresser and finds some clean clothes. He dresses, thankful that they’d cleaned themselves up before drifting off to sleep, and goes to the bathroom, splashing some water on his face and cleaning his teeth. He stares at himself in the mirror and notices a dark mark on his neck, a reminder of their passionate night together and he tilts his head, letting his fingers trace over it. He likes it. Likes that Harry had branded him and wonders if he did the same to him, although he doesn’t remember it.

The smell of eggs and herbs drifts through the air as he wanders out into the kitchen. Harry is standing at the stove, one hand on his hip and the other hovering over the pan holding a spatula. His upper body is bare, as are his feet, only a pair of striped boxers covering his lithe frame. He’s humming a tune and Louis realizes it’s their song again. It’s lovely and comfortable and Louis feels more at peace than ever.

He walks up behind Harry and winds his arms around his middle, burying his nose into Harry’s back. He smells like sleep, with an earthy sweetness that is all Harry. “Morning sunshine,” Louis kisses into his skin.

“Good morning to you, too. Sleep okay?”

“Mhmmm… more than okay.”

“How’s the shoulder?”

“Much better. Still a bit sore, but the witches brew seems to have done the trick.”

“Heeeey. Thought you said it was my magical fingers.”

Louis bites his back playfully. “You do have very magical fingers. And a magical mouth…”

Harry arches away from him and pushes his arse into Louis’ crotch reaching around to grab Louis butt cheek. “Now this,” Harry says giving it a squeeze. “This is magical. Magical arse.”

Louis squawks. “Oi! Hands off, Mister.” He steps away to fill up the kettle. “Tea?”

“Mmmm… yes please.”

Harry serves up breakfast as Louis goes about making their tea. “What’s the plan for today then?”

Louis brings over their mugs and Harry sets their plates on the table. “Thought we might have a lazy day? Fridays are usually pretty quiet ‘round here. The students have already gone into the city to lodge their results from the last week and the others are having a day in the lab so I promised to make myself scarce to give them some extra workspace,” Harry says, glancing up at Louis with a smirk. “Might be good to give your shoulder a rest day too, old man.”

“Always so cheeky… you’re like two years younger than me,” Louis scolds goodnaturedly. “Anyway, I’m sure there’s things we can amuse ourselves with around here.”

Harry’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline. “Yeah?”

“Mhmmm… reckon I’ve got some catching up to do.” Louis winks and loads a forkful of omelet into his mouth, a closed-lipped smile forming as he chews and nudges Harry’s shin under the table with his toe.

“I’ve created a monster,” Harry chuckles and shakes his head.

“I seem to recall  _ someone _ promised me fun.” Louis waggles his eyebrows suggestively pointing his empty fork at Harry.

“That I did.” Harry looks nervous and Louis is about to make a joke when Harry continues. “Is this… is this just a bit of fun? I don’t want to get all heavy and like, I’m totally up for some no-strings-attached rolls in the metaphorical hay and sexual exploration and all that but…”

Louis reaches over and places his hand over Harry’s as his words trail off, eyes cast down to his plate as he pushes his food around. “Hey. No. That’s not what I meant. I was just being silly. How about we finish up here and go back to bed. We can get comfy and talk properly, yeah?”

Harry raises his head up and his expression brightens. That’s better. “Really? Okay. Yeah. That… that sounds good.”

~~~~

“So Mandy is really the only sexual partner you’ve ever had?” Harry asks as he trails his fingers down Louis’ side, his eyes tracking the motion. Louis rolls onto his back and pulls the covers up to his chest, the heat of the day not yet having infiltrated The Grove. He takes ahold of Harry’s hand and kisses his knuckles, turning his head to meet his gaze and resting their joined hands between his pecs.

“Yeah. We met when we were young, still teenagers, and got married quickly. Then the kids came along and we were together and faithful for the next thirty-odd years.” Louis says it with a sense of pride. He was a good husband, he’s a good man, a good father, a loyal friend, he knows that, even with all the turmoil of the divorce, there was never any hatred or desire for retribution. There still isn’t. He was disappointed with how it had ended, but it wasn’t working for either of them and now they both have a chance at a new future and the possibility of finding happiness again while they’re still young enough to enjoy it.

“Why’d you quit your job?”

“Coming in with the hard-hitting questions, I see,” Louis says with a grin. “It just… I got disillusioned with it all, I think. I felt trapped by the system, the government. I didn’t want to be on the inside anymore trying to fight against the bureaucracy when I was essentially part of it. I might do freelance for a while. I dunno, though. There’s no rush. I’ve got a good nest egg.” Louis rolls over into his side and brings the covers up over their shoulders. 

Harry nods, absorbing the information, and snuggles into the pillow. Their faces so close they’re breathing each other’s air and Louis thinks he could happily lay here all day. Maybe they will.

“So you’re going to stay here for a while then? With me?” It’s asked in a whisper, tentative, and hopeful.

“I’d like to... if you’ll have me?”

Harry smiles. “Hmmm… I dunno,” he says, pretending to ponder the decision. Louis kicks him under the covers. “I mean… you’re pretty lazy.” Louis pokes him in the stomach. “With no demonstrable skills.” Louis tweaks his nipple and Harry grabs his wrist, pulling it to his chest. “And like… you’re not much to look at.” Louis lurches forward and licks his nose triggering a wave of giggles to bubble out of Harry’s mouth. “But I  _ suppose _ I could put up with you.”

Louis slings his leg over Harry’s hip and flips them, sitting astride Harry’s hips, the covers pooling around his waist. “Yeah?” Louis grinds down hard on Harry’s cock. “You  _ suppose _ , do you?”

Harry lifts his knees and Louis falls forward onto his chest, their lips lining up perfectly. “Yeah, I do,” Harry whispers into Louis’ mouth and kisses him. It’s charged with the emotion from their conversation; the openness and honesty acting as potent aphrodisiacs. Louis untangles their hands from between their bodies and plants his on either side of Harry’s head, pushing up to give him space to control the kiss. He deepens it and grinds his arse back onto Harry’s cock, a low growl rumbling in Harry’s chest as he brings his hands around to knead at Louis’ cheeks through his boxers.

Louis pulls back and looks into Harry’s eyes. “Show me something new.”

Harry’s eyes widen, but he quickly schools his expression, as though he doesn’t want to appear too eager. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Louis ducks his head down to Harry’s neck and kisses a line towards his Adam’s apple, taking his time. “You’re the tour guide here, what’re the options for our itinerary.” Louis licks the sensitive skin under Harry’s jaw, nipping and sucking to hopefully leave a mark. He’d like to leave lots of marks actually.

“Hmmmm… so much to choose from…” Harry rubs circles into Louis thighs where his hands are resting. “But there’s one thing that I’ve been dreaming of in particular.”

“Yeah?” Louis starts working on another mark on the other side of Harry’s neck as excitement courses through his veins at what Harry might have in store.

Harry taps his hips. “Off. Pants off, now.”

Louis rolls off Harry and tucks his fingers into the waistband, sliding them down and pushing them the rest of the way off with his feet, the covers ending up at the bottom of the bed in the process. “Alright,” Louis says and crosses his ankles, hands behind his head, naked and unabashed, demonstrating a bravado that had been dormant until now. “Have at it.”

Harry chuckles and rolls his eyes as he removes his own boxers and kicks them off the side of the bed. “You’re an idiot, you know that, right? Adorable, but an idiot, nonetheless.”

“Hey. Quit stalling.” Louis bucks his hips up making his dick slap on his thigh. “I was promised something new.”

“ _ God _ . So impatient.” Harry pushes against the headboard and slides down the bed. “I’ve created an insatiable monster.”

“Yup!” Louis wiggles his pelvis and winks.

“Alright. Up on your knees and spin around.” Harry taps his chest. “Then sit here, facing away from me.”

Louis quirks his brow. “Okaaay?” He doesn’t really understand what they’re doing, but he repositions himself, careful not to kick Harry in the face in the process.

“ _ Oof _ ,” Harry exhales as Louis sits right on his chest and twists around to give Harry a perplexed look. “Lean forward, elbows on either side of my knees,” Harry instructs.

“Seriously?” Louis gives him a side eye but follows along, leaning down and tucking his feet under Harry’s back, face pressing between Harry’s thighs. “Is this some weird karma sutra thing?” Louis jokes, voice muffled.

“No, you great dolt,” Harry says a slaps Louis’ arse playfully. “Just shut up for a minute will you.”

Louis sighs dramatically and wiggles his toes, tickling Harry’s ribs. Harry slaps his arse again, a bit harder this time and Louis squawks. “Oi!”

“Guess we’ll save spanking for another tour then,” Harry says mischievously and grips onto Louis hips, pulling his arse back toward his face.

Louis startles at the first press of Harry’s lips to his cheek, not fully grasping the situation. “Harry, what’re you-”

“Shhhh… just go with it.  _ Relax _ ,” Harry murmurs into his skin, breath hot, sending a shiver around Louis’ body. “You’re gonna love this, trust me.”

Louis does trust him, a ridiculous amount actually, so he tries to put all other thoughts out of his mind and just let it happen, whatever  _ it _ is.

Harry massages his cheeks, pulling them apart and then letting go, each movement allowing the hot air to fan over his hole. It’s an odd sensation and Louis wants to squirm away but he resists, not wanting to give in to his nerves or the feeling of embarrassment from having Harry so close to his most intimate part.

Harry kisses and licks his cheeks, each ministration getting closer and closer to his hole, but that can’t be where he’s heading, surely. Louis tenses involuntarily and has to forcibly calm himself, taking deep breaths and fisting his hands in the sheets.

One of Harry’s hands disappears and he hears a slurping sound, before wet fingers begin running over the puckered skin and Louis flinches, it’s such a foreign sensation and he curls his toes under Harry’s back. He doesn’t move away though, just lets Harry continue, curious to see where this is going.

The first swipe of Harry’s tongue across his hole fires a bolt of electricity through his entire body and he snaps his head up, eyes wide, staring straight ahead. He doesn’t move away though, frozen in place at the sheer overwhelming shock of what Harry’s doing. The second swipe is wetter, more drawn out and sends tingles up his spine. On the third, Harry applies more pressure and goes slower, licking from his balls to the top of his crack and Louis can’t hold in the moan that he lets fall from his mouth.

“That’s it, baby, let me hear you,” Harry tells him. “Want to hear how much you like it.”

It’s the single most erotic thing he’s ever experienced and given the last twenty-four hours, that’s saying something. Louis’ arms begin to tremble with the strain of holding himself up and he drops his head down to Harry’s shins, trying desperately to suck some air into his lungs. Harry dives back in with renewed purpose, really starting to work him over and effectively thwarting Louis’ attempts at breathing. The sounds that are coming from Harry’s mouth are filthy and raw and Louis will be playing them on repeat for eternity. Slurping and sucking and moaning and panting like a man possessed.

“ _ Fuck… _ ” Louis groans out. “Fuck, Haz, so good, so good…”

Harry nips at his hole and Louis feels his cock blurt out precome, beading at the tip and tickling his slit before leaking down into Harry’s stomach. A primal urge wells up inside him to move and he finds himself pushing back against Harry’s mouth seeking out more. It elicits a guttural moan from Harry which becomes a constant growl that vibrates against him, through him, around him. Harry suctions onto the twitching muscle and prods his tongue forwards, dipping in ever so minutely and Louis cries out. “Oh god,  _ oh god _ , oh god, yes!” 

Louis pushes back, desperate for Harry to go deeper, mindless with need and want and an uncontrollable desire to have something inside, filling him up. He’s never felt like this before, nerve endings on fire, blood concentrated and pulsing, pounding in his ears like crashing waves. 

Harry spreads his cheeks wider with firm hands and delves in deeper, tonguing at his walls, and exploring where no one has ever ventured before. Greedy inhales and panted breaths, moans and whines, all creating a cacophony of sounds that pull Louis under and tumble him around as he grapples to hold onto some semblance of control. It’s a futile effort, though, he’s long past the point of being able to maintain the pretense that he has any command of the situation. Harry has consumed him,  _ is _ consuming him, with every swipe of his tongue, every press of his lips, every….  _ everything _ . 

“More.  _ More _ ,” Louis pleads, more of what exactly he doesn’t know, but Harry seems to be able to read his needs regardless. A finger snakes in beside his tongue, stretching the tight muscle and Louis feels himself relax to accommodate the welcome intrusion. It feels both strange, and like the most perfectly natural thing in the world. Harry slides it in and out gently, encouragingly, kissing and licking around the digit as he goes deeper, moving it around as though he’s searching for something. 

A burst of white light goes off behind Louis’ tightly closed eyes, his brain taking a moment to catch up, but when it does the euphoria that courses through his entire being is so strong and overwhelming that he gasps and shouts. “Fuck! Fuck fuck  _ fuck _ , ohmy _ god! _ ” He has no idea what it is, what Harry has touched, what he’s found inside him, but he clenches hard around Harry’s finger and tongue and whines high in his throat, arching his back and pushing his arse into Harry’s face. “What the  _ fuck _ ? There, yes!”

Harry hums and Louis’ fairly certain he can feel him smirking but he honestly doesn’t care. This is the best thing ever and he never wants it to end.

A second finger joins the first and the stretch is glorious, spreading him wider, all the while prodding at whatever that special spot is that Harry has discovered. Not for the first time in the last day, Louis wonders what the fuck he’s been doing all his life, ‘cause it sure as shit wasn’t this good, it’s never been anything like this, he’s clearly been misled because this,  _ this _ is sex, this is right, and everything else that came before pales in comparison. 

Louis rides Harry’s fingers, trying to get them deeper, the contradiction of feeling full and not full enough is maddening. “More, Haz, fuck, more,” Louis pants out, swiveling his hips as sweat trickles down his spine.

Harry adds another finger and it burns, so good, but it  _ still _ isn’t enough. He wants it all, wants to be split open and begging for release, wants to feel Harry moving inside him.  _ Yes _ . That’s what he wants, what he needs. “Fuck me, Haz. Please, want you to fuck me.”

Harry’s mouth is suddenly gone and Louis whines so wantonly he barely even recognizes the sound of his own voice.

“God yeah, Lou, you want that? You sure?” Harry is breathless and Louis opens his eyes, refocusing on Harry’s hard length under him. It’s angry and red and leaking everywhere and he wants it inside of him yesterday. He takes it in his hand and strokes it, precome bubbling out of the slit as Harry groans and bucks up into Louis’ fist.

“Yes,  _ fuck _ , get it in me,” Louis demands and he tries to move but Harry holds him in place with the hand that isn’t busy making Louis’ world turn upside down.

“Not yet, need to open you up a bit more.”

Louis spins his head around and glares at Harry. He’s going for fierce but suspects he’s coming off like a grumpy kitten if Harry’s resulting giggle is anything to go by.

“No! Now,” Louis says petulantly and grips Harry’s cock a bit tighter for emphasis.

Harry hisses and bucks his hips again. “Patience. Trust me. Wanna make this good for you, Lou.”

“Fine,” Louis huffs out and settles back onto Harry’s fingers, grinding down and trying to relax himself. His reward is Harry adding yet another finger and the return of his mouth, so he’ll take that as a win for now. It's still on the edge of painful but he knows where this heading and he wants to get there as fast as possible so he breathes in and out, unfurling his toes and letting his head hang down, sweat dripping off the end of his nose. He sees his cock twitching and pulsing but it’s like it’s not even connected to his body, all the attention on his arse and the new found sensations he’s getting to experience.

Harry works into him, pushing and stretching, licking and sucking with renewed vigor. He’s stopped touching that spot inside, the process now with a purpose other than just pleasure, they have an end game and Louis wants to get to the finish line.

Harry slows down his thrusts and removes his fingers, one by one, and with each loss Louis feels himself clench involuntarily, whining, the emptiness is all consuming and he’s confused at his body’s reaction.

“Shhhhh… it’s okay. Gonna fill you up good,” Harry says soothingly, petting and kneading his arse cheeks. “You wanna ride me or be on your back?”

Louis twists around and gives Harry what is likely the most pouty expression in history. “I could literally hang from the ceiling at this point and be happy as long as you get that bloody cock inside of me,” Louis deadpans.

Harry barks out a laugh and taps his hips. “Alright then, Mr. Impatience. On your back, your legs are probably gonna give out in a few minutes anyway, old man.”

Louis groans and sits up, swinging his leg over and flopping onto his back with zero grace. Not that it matters. He’s gonna get fucked for the first time in his life and he doubts Harry is going to care at the elegance of his movements.

Harry leans over to his bedside table and rummages around while Louis reaches down and strokes himself. The first touch of his neglected cock sends sparks flying around his body but it’s not what he wants and it doesn’t feel the way it usually does. The sensation is all wrong, and he grumbles in frustration. Harry returns with a tube of something, a condom, and a broad smirk on his face. Louis would smack him upside the head if he thought it wouldn’t derail the proceedings.

Harry kneels up and nudges Louis’ legs apart, positioning himself between them, and tears open the condom packet, rolling the rubber over the head and down his shaft. He unscrews the cap and Louis watches as he squeezes the tube, a clear substance oozing out onto his fingers. Harry pauses and gives him a serious look. “Don’t ever let anyone stick their dick in you without lube and a condom, alright?”

“Thanks for the tip, oh wise sex guru,” Louis says with a nod and a smirk.

“No seriously, Lou. It’s really important.”

Louis reaches out and runs his hand up Harry’s thigh. “Yeah, okay, I’ll make sure.”

Harry searches his face for understanding and he must be satisfied with what he sees. He squeezes some more lube out over his sheathed cock and spreads it around, jaw clenched, breathing deeply and obviously trying to settle his arousal. “Knees up,” Harry says and Louis follows the command, nerves sparking in his veins at what’s about to come. “Alright, I’m gonna slick you up and then push in, but I’m gonna go slow, like  _ really _ slow. It might burn a bit and you’ll feel really full, but it’ll be good once your body adjusts.”

Louis nods and grips the backs of his thighs, pulling them further apart as he tries to steady his breathing. He’s so fucking turned on and excited and he wants this so badly he’s going to jump out of his skin if Harry doesn’t hurry the fuck up, but he isn’t so gone that he doesn’t appreciate Harry’s care and concern, so he just takes a deep breath and lets him continue.

Harry pinches the tube and more lube seeps out onto his already slippery fingers. He reaches over and sets the tube on the bedside table. “This’ll probably be a bit cold at first,” Harry says as he settles himself back between Louis’ spread legs, rubbing his fingers together. He smears the lube over Louis’ hole and it’s cold, but not too much, it mainly just feels amazing. Harry dips a couple of fingers inside and stretches him out some more making Louis moan and grind down. It’s different being able to see Harry’s face now, concentration evident in his furrowed brows, and it’s so fucking hot.

Louis’ cock twitches and bounces on his hip, he just wants Harry  _ in _ him already. “Look, I appreciate all of… this,” Louis says breathlessly with a wave of his hand. “But I’m fairly certain I’m okay and I reckon if you don’t do something soon I’m gonna just flip you over and impale myself on your cock, so, you know, can we hurry this along?”

Harry freezes, one hand buried in his arse and the other holding the base of his own dick. The moment hangs between them but it’s broken soon enough by Harry squawking out a laugh, shoulders shaking and causing him to jab his fingers right into whatever the hell that spot is inside of him that makes his body react and shudder. “ _ God _ , you’re so bloody mouthy.”

“Well then,  _ shut me up _ , would ya?” Louis huffs out dramatically. “What the hell does a guy have to do around here to get fucked?”

Harry tilts his head to the side. “Yup. That’ll do it.” He pulls his fingers from Louis’ hole and it clenches around nothing again, a pathetic whimper falling from his lips. Harry wipes his hand on the covers and shuffles forward, lining himself up. “Knees up to your chest.” Louis obeys, contorting himself like a pretzel as Harry gazes down on him. “Okay, it’s gonna be uncomfortable.” Louis rolls his eyes. “But just relax.”

Louis feels the tip of Harry’s cock against his hole, a firm pressure that he can sense in his pelvis and tailbone. There’s no way that enormous cock is fitting in there and for the first time Louis feels a tinge of panic shoot through him. Maybe this was a terrible idea. He knows Harry would stop if he asked, but he doesn’t want to, he trusts him, and he knows this is going to be mind blowing, so he takes a deep breath and close his eyes.

Harry edges forward and it feels like he’s trying to push his arse cheeks inside of him, there’s no give, just pressure everywhere. Suddenly, the head slips in, past the tight ring of muscle and Louis’ eyes fly open, a gasp bursting out of him. Harry is staring at him, teeth gritted, sweaty fringe stuck to his forehead. It burns, bordering on painful as Harry holds his position. “Shhhh… just relax.”

“Nnnrgghh…” Louis groans out but he does as he’s told. He tries to breathe, gripping the backs of his thighs, fingers digging into the flesh in a way that will surely leave bruises. His body decides to get with the program and with each passing second, the burn eases, feeling himself stretch to accommodate the intrusion. Harry is staring at him, scanning over his face, bottom lip caught between his teeth and whiting out. Louis shifts, just a tiny bit, testing the waters, and… it feels… like it’s too much and not enough. He wants more. “Okay… okay… I’m good,” Louis rasps out, nodding his head.

Harry edges forwards, and the burn eases, replaced by a sensation of fullness that's almost indescribable. “ _ Fuuuck _ … yes…” Louis groans out, chasing the feeling. “More, Harry, come on.”

Harry grunts and shifts forward again, hands coming to rest on Louis shins, pushing his knees against his chest, and Louis is suddenly glad for how limber he’s kept himself over the years. Harry slides in deeper, slowly, and it’s like it’s never going to end. 

“Lou… shit, you’re so fucking tight. Not gonna last,” Harry pants, sweat dripping down and off his chin, eyes wild and fixed firmly on Louis’.

“Don’t bloody give me that nonsense,” Louis sucks in another sharp breath as Harry bottoms out, hips finally slotting against his arse cheeks. “You’re gonna finish what you started.”

Harry growls and the vibrations shoot through his arse and into his stomach. He realizes that’s because Harry’s cock is basically in his stomach and he reaches down to feel it, pushing against it and it’s truly one of the strangest sensations imaginable.

“Oh my  _ god _ , don’t do that or this’ll be over in about five seconds,” Harry chuckles and tries to brush his hair off his forehead with his wrist, fingers covered in lube. Louis lets go of one of his knees and threads his fingers in Harry’s hair, shifting it off his face. It makes Louis laugh and fuck, the movement of his body causes Harry’s cock to pull on his hole and it sends a current of electricity straight to his gut.

He needs to feel that again. “Move, god, please move,” Louis groans.

Harry smiles and takes ahold of Louis ankles, propping them up on his shoulders, shuffling forward and bringing himself flush with the backs of Louis’ thighs. “Alright, you ready?”

“ _ Yes _ , you miserable bastard, fuck me already!”

Harry barks out a laugh and shakes his head fondly. “So pushy, Lou.”

Harry draws back and Louis feels like his insides are going to combust, it’s just that good. The drag and the stretch and the nerve endings practically on fire are manifesting sensations like he’s never experienced. Harry thrusts back in and Louis’ brain short circuits, a guttural moan falling from his mouth as he reaches down and grabs onto Harry’s hips, holding on for dear life. Thrust after thrust, the slap of skin on skin, moans and whines and gasps filling the room.

“Fuck yes, so good, Jesus Christ,” Louis murmurs as he’s transported to a world of sheer ecstasy. “More, Haz, come on,” he encourages, guiding Harry’s hips with his firm grip.

Harry starts to really pound into him, leaning his weight down and straining Louis’ hamstrings. “So perfect for me, so tight, so hot, fucking hell,” Harry murmurs as he gets a hand on Louis’ cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts.

“Yes!” Louis cries out and his gut tightens, a glorious wave of pleasure crashing over him. Harry shifts, angling his hips up, hitting that spot inside of him and Louis’ vision whites out, unable to hold it in anymore. His orgasm slams into him like a freight train and the sounds that are ripped out of him are ones he’s sure he’s never made before, somewhere between a wail and a growl and it’s barely human.

Harry’s hips stutter, pushing in one final time before he stills, muscles tensing and shuddering, hand going limp on Louis’ cock. “Fuck!  _ Fuckfuckfuck _ yes!” He holds his position for a few beats and then pulls out, collapsing beside Louis, panting loudly. Louis lets his legs drop down with a thud, chest heaving and body tingling all over. He stares up at the ceiling trying to come back to the present as his mind is a turbulent mess of sensations and emotions. “Holy.  _ Hell _ .”

Harry chuckles and reaches out a hand, taking Louis’ in his, it’s tacky and kinda gross but Louis grips onto it anyway. “You… you liked that?”

Louis rolls on his side and sighs contentedly. “How long before the next tour departs?”

Harry groans and throws his arm over his eyes. “I’ve created a monster.”

“Yeah, but I’m  _ your _ monster.”

Harry slides his arm off his face and turns his head to face Louis. “Yeah?”

“Mhmmmm… never getting rid of me now.”

Harry smiles and rolls over onto his side. “I like the sound of that,” he smirks and drapes his arm over Louis waist. “I like the sound of that, a lot, old man.”

Louis trails his fingers down the crows feet beside Harry’s eyes. “I like the sound of that too, wrinkled wreck.”

Harry grins and leans in, pressing their lips together and Louis melts into it. “So, what did you think of your first rimming?”

“My what now?” Louis quirks his brow as he kisses Harry’s chin, working his way back up and sucking his bottom lip in his mouth, nipping at it gently.

Harry chuckles and Louis loses his hold on his lip, pouting and trying to get it back but Harry pulls away. “Your first rimming. You know…” Harry lolls his tongue out and makes a filthy swirling motion.

“Oohhhh… yeah, that was definitely a first.” He feels a flush creep up his neck and onto his cheeks at the memory of what Harry had done, a spark of arousal shooting around his body. “I liked it…  _ a lot _ . I had no idea that was even a thing people wanted to do, or have done to them, but sign me the fuck up!”

Harry nods and smiles, a smug expression painting across his face. “And the other thing? You know, inside?”

“Yes! Oh my god. What  _ was _ that?”

“That, my dear Louis, was your prostate, and a man’s best friend.”

“Mmmmm… man’s best friend indeed. I uhm… kinda feel like I’ve been doing this sex caper all wrong for thirty years.”

“Well, you’ve had two kids so I reckon you must’ve been doing something right.”

“Perhaps. But it’s never felt like this.”

“Hmmmm… just think though, now you’ve got another thirty years to do it this way.”

“Bring. It. On.” Louis says and punctuates each word with small fist pump in the air.

“Oh, I can definitely bring it,” Harry says and rolls on his back, tucking Louis into his side and Louis rests his head on Harry’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and threading his leg between Harry’s. It’s sticky and sweaty and all kinds of disgusting, but Louis doesn’t care. Harry cards his fingers through Louis’ hair and starts to hum a low tune, it’s beautiful and Louis recognizes it immediately. Their song. The one that started it all.  _ Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow _ . And yeah, Louis thinks he will. It’s fast, probably too fast, but he just knows it in his bones. He’ll say the words soon, although he doubts either of them actually need to, the emotion and passion clearly conveyed with their bodies and souls. With words unspoken, just like the song says.

He’s not sure of what their future holds, or what challenges they’ll face, but he’s certain that as long as they’re together, it’ll be perfect.


	4. Epilogue

The string quartet plays a soft melody as a few children dart in and out of the rowed seats, laughter filling the warm spring air and making Louis smile. It’s a gorgeous day, befitting the celebration that they’re all here to witness. If someone had asked him, as a young man embarking on his life, how he would be spending his twilight years he could never, in his wildest dreams, have conjured up this day.

At eighty-nine, he feels like he’s lived life to the fullest. He’s loved and been loved, experienced joy that seemed to know no bounds, and seen his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren grow and thrive.

His has been a life of two halves; a marriage to his teenage sweetheart that bore both happy times and deep sadness, and forty wonderful years with his soulmate. They sit beside him now, Mandy on his left and Harry on his right, and he holds their hands in his tightly. 

Time heals all wounds, as they say. Well, time and Harry Styles. It’d been at Harry’s urging that he and Mandy had rebuilt their relationship. Forging a new found friendship that has stood the test of time. It wasn’t always easy, and there had definitely been speed bumps along the way, but with age comes wisdom. When Mandy’s second husband had passed away ten years ago she had moved to The Grove, into her own purpose-built cabin, with all the amenities she had needed and an annex for her full-time carer.

The Grove had gone from strength to strength, from its early beginnings as a commune to a thriving community of scientists finding new solutions to the ongoing challenge of feeding the world’s growing population. Louis had stayed on, never returning to live in his small apartment in San Francisco but he’d had no regrets. He loved Harry’s work and dove into it with an eagerness and dedication that carried on throughout the years. He freelanced as a lawyer from time to time but mainly kept his focus on Harry’s work and project managing his many initiatives. They made a great team, they still do.

Mandy’s illness had come and gone over the years, but it’s worn her down, the rounds of treatment having etched their marks on her once vibrant face. The doctors say she still has a few months before it will finally take her. She’s fought long and hard but it can’t be held at bay forever, and Louis has seen this too many times to be blind to the fact that the clock has all but run out. Ella and Katherine had brought forward their ceremony so she could witness this day and Louis knows she’s been hanging on, ever the fighter, and while he doubts it’ll be long after this, she’s here today, and that’s all that matters. 

Louis lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles in a practiced routine. She smiles sweetly and pats his chest.

“Heeeeyyyy… getting jealous over here,” Harry drawls out, faux-glaring at Mandy and making her giggle. 

“Shut it, you, no one likes a whinger,” Mandy chides good-naturedly.

Louis shakes his head. “Seriously, it’s been forty years for god's sake. You  _ know _ I love you both.” And he means it. He loves them differently, of course, Mandy as a treasured friend and the mother of his children, and Harry as the love of his life, his partner, his everything.

The wind rustles through the trees as the music changes, the crowd quietening down and turning to watch as the procession starts. The little girls and boys pass by them, looking adorable in their suits and flowing summer dresses, concentration on their faces as they scatter flower petals on the carpet. The girls’ friends are next, striding along with smiles beaming. They’d dispensed with the more traditional bridesmaids and groomsmen and opted for their closest friends to simply walk down unencumbered. It reminds Louis of a conga line and it makes him chuckle.

Harry leans in and he can feel his breath on his ear. “What’re you laughing at, old man?” He asks, barely above a whisper.

“Oi, who’re you calling old, you wrinkled wreck?” Louis retorts softly. It’s a running joke, has been for as long as Louis cares to remember, but it never ceases to make them both smile.

The music changes again and the crowd stands. Louis helps Mandy to balance on her shaky legs, keeping his promise to not let her miss a minute of the day. He steadies her from behind, sure hands on her waist as she uses her cane to balance at the front.

Ella and Katherine walk down the aisle together looking giddy and both so beautiful Louis thinks his heart is going to burst with pride and love. Harry tucks his chin onto Louis shoulder and kisses his cheek. “They look so happy, Lou,” Harry whispers, the emotion of the moment evident in his gravelly voice.

They all take their seats and the celebrant guides them through the proceedings. The entire ceremony is beautiful and filled with love and laughter and is a clear representation of their relationship. Louis wells up on more than one occasion and Harry and Mandy aren’t much better off. By the end, all three of them are wiping their eyes and Louis couldn’t think of a better or more perfect way for the girls to join their lives together.

~~~~

The reception is in full swing, food and drink and music in abundance inside the marquee as the hundred or so guests enjoy the festivities. The sun is setting over the hills and casting long shadows throughout the tent as the twinkle of the fairy lights start to play on the champagne flutes and glassy-eyed revelers.

Mandy’s carer has long since taken her back to The Grove. It had been a big day and she’d made a fantastic effort, but she was exhausted and knew when to call it quits. Harry is chatting away to one of Katherine’s brothers about climate change and the need for developing nations to secure their food sources with drought tolerant crops and Louis is only half listening in, happily people-watching and drinking his champagne.

He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns to find Ella standing at his side. He looks up into her sparkling eyes and smiles. “Hello, love.”

“Hey grandpa, fancy taking me for a spin on the dance floor?” She holds out her hand and Louis takes it gladly.

“I’d love to,” he says as he gets to his feet, knees cracking and hip twinging from being seated for too long.

He leads her out onto the dance floor and spins her into his arms. He might be nearly ninety, but he’s still got some moves. She giggles and wraps her arms around him as the music sweeps to a crescendo.

“You look so beautiful, Ella, and this day was absolutely perfect. Katherine has done well for herself,” he says as they sway to the beat.

“Yeah. Reckon I’ve done okay too. Kat’s a bit of a catch,” she says with a wink.

“She is. You two are gonna be very happy.”

“Well, if we do half as well as you and Harry, we’ll be doing alright. Can’t believe you two have been together for forty years, that’s some achievement.”

Louis smiles and nods. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t thank the gods above for bringing Harry into his life. Theirs has been an unconventional relationship for a lot of reasons, but mostly it’s just felt like the most normal thing in the world. “Yeah, it is. And we’re still as happy as the day we got together.” He remembers the start of their relationship so vividly, even now, heady emotions and passion like he’d never known. The physicality had waned over time, bodies aging, but their love for one another never wavered, always strong, always sure, forever.

Louis twirls Ella and changes their course across the dance floor to go around a group of children sitting in a circle in the middle.

Ella pulls back and smiles. “I’m not sure I ever thanked you, not properly, for everything you did for the community in those early years. A day like this wouldn’t have been possible without everyone who fought so hard for so long. So thank you. I just… I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it.” Ella says and places a kiss to Louis’ cheek.

It takes Louis by surprise. They’d talked about it over the years, of course, particularly when Ella had come out, but there had always been a bit of cloud over it given the part his work had played in his and Mandy’s divorce. “Thank you, sweetheart, that… that means a lot,” Louis says with tears in his eyes.

“I think someone is keen to steal you away from me,” Ella says as she motions with her head and Louis spins them around to see Harry standing on the edge of the dance floor. After so many years he’s still the most handsome man Louis has ever laid eyes on. More weathered now, but he carries himself with an air of confidence that never fails to make Louis’ heart flutter. 

“Hmmmm…” Louis tilts his chin toward Harry and he slinks over like he’s skating on ice, ever the joker, and it brings a smile to Louis’ face.

“Mind if I cut in?” Harry asks in his deep voice, holding out a hand.

“You may,” Ella says with a bow and ducks in to plant another kiss on Louis’ cheek before raising up onto her tiptoes and twirling away happily.

Harry swoops in and gathers Louis in his arms “Hey, old man.”

“Hey, wrinkled wreck,” Louis says as he places one hand on Harry’s shoulder and takes Harry’s in his other, gripping them between their chests. 

Harry moves them around effortlessly as they dance cheek to cheek. “Are you disappointed we never did this? Standing in front of our family and friends and being joined in the eyes of the law?”

Louis pulls back and gazes at him. “The only eyes I care about are yours and the only people we need to please are ourselves. So no, I’m not disappointed. I’m just happy that people can do it now, if they choose to. Love is love and all that.” Louis finishes with a flurry of his hand before resting it back on Harry’s shoulder.

The music starts to quieten down, as the DJ’s voice comes over the speakers. “I’ve had a special request for this next song, from the wrinkled wreck to the old man, this is Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.”

Louis gazes up into Harry’s eyes as the opening bars of their song fill the marquee, couples and friends and children spilling onto the dance floor to join them. It’s the updated Amy Winehouse version which Louis adores. Harry smiles down at him, and pulls him closer as the melody soars, swaying in time with the beat. Their feet are heavy and neither of them are as nimble as they once were, but they’re still them, still as in love as they were when they got together forty long, wonderful years ago. 

Harry hums along to the tune, the low timber of his voice vibrating through Louis’ chest. As the chorus transitions into the next verse, Louis tilts his head up, seeking out Harry’s mouth. The kiss is chaste and familiar, each press of their lips like coming home, warm and welcoming.

Louis pulls back and lays his head on Harry’s chest. “Great choice, Haz.” He slides his arms around Harry’s waist and breathes him in, their feet shuffling side to side in unison.

“Mmmm…” Harry murmurs and rests his cheek on Louis’ forehead, winding his arms around Louis’ back and holding him tight in his long arms. “Perfect.”

The music builds to their lines, the ones they had etched on that cabin wall over half a century ago. 

“Tonight, with words unspoken,” Louis rasps out into Harry’s neck.

“You said that I’m the only one,” Harry answers, placing a kiss on the top of Louis’ head.

Louis snuggles in and they move together, two halves of one whole, wrapped in each others arms, soulmates, forever and always.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for choosing to read my little story, I really hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are very welcome. xx
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [ jacaranda-bloom ](https://jacaranda-bloom.tumblr.com/) and if you’d like to reblog my [ Tumblr fic post ](https://jacaranda-bloom.tumblr.com/post/186868807353/with-words-unspoken-by-jacaranda-bloom) that would be lovely!
> 
> If you enjoyed this work you can subscribe [ here ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacaranda_bloom/) to be notified when new works are posted!


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